Higher Etiquette by Lizzie Post

Author:Lizzie Post
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2019-03-25T16:00:00+00:00

Breaking Things

Breaking glass or other equipment can be heart wrenching. Many people get attached to their pieces, and whether it’s your first one that somehow goes flying through the air, hitting the corner of the counter just right and shattering into colorful shards, or the dab rig that your friend accidentally knocks onto your tile floor, breaking equipment is awful. Friends feel horrible, you feel horrible, and then there’s the question of replacement.

Just like with your china, stemware, and linens, you only really want to put out what you can handle ruining while hosting. If a piece really is precious to you, only bring it out to share with friends when you feel really confident about those who are around. Many dabbers especially will only let certain friends handle their rigs; for everyone else, the owner sets up and serves.

If something does go wrong, the person who broke it should do their best to help rectify the situation. First, apologize. Yes. Of course it was an accident, but apologies are important and easy so they are always the first step toward fixing a mistake. Next, always offer to help clean up, taking cues from the owner regarding whether you are saving pieces in the hope of fixing something or replacing a smaller part or if it’s vacuum and trash-bin city. Take your cues from the owner on attitude as well. When someone is mad because they have just lost something they love, that’s not the time to be overly casual. Validate your friend’s feelings. Don’t add to the mix by asking for forgiveness over and over or by not letting it go.

Offering to pay for the item’s repair or replacement if you can is kind. Few people will expect that you replace a thousand-dollar glass piece, but offering to contribute what you can is one of the kindest and most respectful things you can do to help repair the item and the relationship. If your friend refuses your offer, it’s truly okay to let it go and accept that the apology and the offer to help replace the item were enough. Don’t be surprised, however, if your friend does take you up on your offer. (This is why you only offer what you truly can commit to and feel good about.)

If it was your piece that was broken, try to keep your emotions in check and operate from a place of understanding that this was an accident. Little jabs or catty remarks of disappointment won’t help the situation. It’s okay to be mad, but don’t let it ruin the rest of the sesh (even if the session ended because of the break).

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